Guys, I really need advice (Serious advice please)

Onlyoneinall · **Bug finder** Joined: 16 Jul 2005 Posts: 746

Is FTW fuck the world or for the world? If not either, what does it stand for?
_________________
http://www.castleparadox.com/gamelist-display.php?game=750 Bloodlust Demo 1.00

Moogle1 · Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:51 pm Post subject:

Um, where I've seen it used, it means "for the win," as in "zombies ftw!"
_________________

Slime Salad :: Independent Game Design

Valigarmander · Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 10:03 pm Post subject:

Fire the warden?

Jack · **the fool** Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 773

Lucier · Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 2:15 pm Post subject:

um TwinHamster, pap smears are used to check for ovarian cancer.
_________________
insert myspace link here.

Moogle1 · Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 2:37 pm Post subject:

You can never be too sure!
_________________

Slime Salad :: Independent Game Design

TwinHamster · Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 2:40 pm Post subject:

Oh snaps.
Well, I was thinking "Pap smear? That has something to do with birth, right?" so I googled 'pap smear' and saw:

Gizmog1 · Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:04 pm Post subject:

I'm still pretty sure you're fucking around, but there's the slightest chance you might not be. So, if you want my REAL advice, I'd say don't worry about it too much. The chances or her getting pregnant could be anywhere from 1 in 3, to 1 in 100. Consider getting a job and saving some money just in case, 'cause whether you keep that thing or abort him, it's gonna be expensive.

Marriages that are based on pregnancy don't usually turn out well, and chances are she'll stick you for Child Support until you're dead. In the future, it's much MUCH easier to "ruin the mood" and go to a gas station or something and buy some condoms, rather than risk losing money the rest of your life for a single fling. I mean, you haven't provided pics, so obviously she wasn't that hot, right?

Now, a lot of this stuff is probably witchcraft, but if you want to minimize chances, or undo a pregnancy, now's the time to do it, before she's showing. That way, if you do get lucky and fix this problem, there's not a corpse to get rid of, and nobody's suspicious, sees?

My first advice is, to hit her in the belly alot. Now, I know you can't just go up and sock her one, 'cause that's not how you get girls to like you. But, you can give her a friendly jab now and again, maybe if you see her out shopping, you can "accidentally" hit her with a cart. I don't think the fetus forms for a good couple of months, so you might be able to stop this thing while it's a little problem. No promises, but you could have some fun with it, at least!

Second thing you can try, and it's even less likely to succeed, is to get something really really acidic. Orange Juice, or even black super strong coffee might work. The next step is the hard part, and that is to get her to ingest a goodly deal of these beverages vaginally. It probably won't get deep enough into the birth canal to really do any good, and it could lead to some nasty bacterial infections, but maybe that'd do in the baby-to-be! (Make sure the coffee's at room temperature, by the way. Unless she's kinky or something.)

Third thing, and arguably the riskiest suggestion, is to get your girlfriend to start smoking, and drinking lots of caffeine and alcohol. Best case scenario, the change in body chemistry won't even give the little guy a chance. Worst case scenario, 9 months later you'll have a retarded baby who is already growing a beard and chest hair. If you can get her to consistently drink though (And you shouldn't have a problem with taht if she's as nervous about this as you are), she might start sleeping around, and even if she doesn't, it'd at least show she's of loose enough moral fiber that she MIGHT have been sleeping around, and then you can claim it's not your boy!

My last suggestion, which is dumber, more dangerous, and even more damaging to your life and hers than my other ones, is to ride this out and see what happens. You might be happy together, and who knows, you marry her soon enough, maybe everyone'll just think you had a hell of a honeymoon.

Enjoy the next couple of months, Slime! They might be your last! (And hey, if she does turn out to be knocked up, try and get the kid to conceive early too! You're what, 15? If the kid gets as lucky as you did at 15, you'd be a grandfather at about 31! And if he brings up his youngun bad, you could be a great grandfather at 47ish! Great Great Grandfather in your 60's! If you made it to 100, you could be a Great Great Great Great Grandfather! Wouldn't that be awesome? It'd have to make the Inquirer, at least! They might even do a 20/20 special!)

Battleblaze · Posted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 7:12 pm Post subject:

She could have tkaen a night after pill I guess..ar ethose legal yet?

1)You could run from your destiny and have many adventures along the way but end up home again.

2)Stay with her. I mean is she hot?Nice? Tolerable?

but either of these will end up in eventual mortal combat with her dad.

One day ur makin OHR games and watchin naruto on cartoon network.

The next you're a father working at gas station to pay for rent.

What a cruel world.
_________________
Indy OHR! and National OHR Month Contest going on now!

"Aeth calls PHC an anti-semite; PHC blames anti-semitism"
-squall

Slime · **Objection!!!** Joined: 27 Feb 2005 Posts: 170

Well....it's been a long week. But, guess what? She had her period! That's right folks, Slime is a free man! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

(BB, she's cute, so I may get to know her better...but this scare was a bit too much...Slime shall lay off for a bit...and the fact that she threw herself at me with minimum effort on my part is a bit of a warning sign...)
_________________
http://hellyeahmyownurl.spaces.live.com/default.aspx?_c02_owner=1
Slime's Sexy and Provocative and Potentially Offensive Space

TwinHamster · Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 1:13 pm Post subject:

Yay!

Now you can watch more poorly dubbed English Naruto series instead of the uberly super japanese one!

Now for the neutering to make sure this never happens again!

Yay! Razz

[edit] You should still tell everyone involved about this little episode.

Valigarmander · Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 2:23 pm Post subject:

Ditto.

Yay for Slime!