Castle Paradox

[Eggie]

In the year 2001, a organization by the name of Sacred Eye developed drugs to mutate the body to create monsters, Monstera and Creasura. These creatures were posed as outcasts and feared by humans. In that year, Edgar Pyro, a young teenager gained super powers that made him like a Weapon. He joined the super force team Scarlet Dawn. They trained him, and he met new friends. He stopped his father, who was in charge of the organization, and killed him. But he lost two very good friends...

Now in 2003, Sacred Eye is reawakening and they have created a subworld to put all of the outcasts. They also planned to morph the world with a super power. They also developed a super virus to infect one person. They kept that away from the world. No one knows what's going on. No one will be let known.

[Setu_Firestorm]

*sigh*

When you're writing a story, you need to think about the "why's" of it. First off, why did he kill his father who runs the company that trained him?

Second, why is he re-awakening when seemingly we don't know how he became "un" awakened?

Third, What's the purpose of this virus to infect ONE person?

Four, Why would they need to morph the world with a superpower when they can just build a distant colony somewhere?

I'm not trying to get on your case. I'm just trying to make you think about what you're writing. If you want people to understand what's going on and why, you need to have all of these factors figured out.
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Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/georgerpowell
Newgrounds: http://setu-firestorm.newgrounds.com

[Eggie]

(Setu, just follow along. You'll find out more as you read more of my story.)

EGGIE:

Ahhh... Nice Saturday's. It was mid-October in Detroit. I was at the Skaterpark. Skating, of course. And eating. I love my life. It's so exciting, and easy. It's exciting because of what I do. I work for an agency, Scarlet Dawn. What this agency does is it takes care of odd problems that effect the planet. The stuff you don't know about. The stuff you don't wanna know about. Well, maybe you wanna, but best not to. You see, right now there are no problems, because they are all taken care of. Recently I joined up to the force. I was begged to really. Because I had the power. I gained some sort of super power. I was almost invincible. I could have done so much stuff. Morphed into a dragon, zap people with lightning, engulf junk and vomit up a new PS2. But, when I destroyed my dad, it all went away. I still know how to use guns though.

My dad? He was the leader of the opposite organization, Sacred Eye. He had some sort of destructive power. It's like Star Wars, except my dad didn't turn good at the last minute. He stayed evil. Bastard. My mom hated him, too.

[Eggie]

At noon, I decided to go home. I went home to see that my mom wasn't. The telephone rang, so I answered.

"Edgar?" Asked K, my scientist buddy who works at SD, "We need you at the base now!" He hung up. Shit, somethings up. I grabbed my pistols, that for some reason are laying on the couch. Who put'em there?
I ran to the base, and when I went inside, I realized that something wasn't right. I went up to the main console and pushed the message button, which was flashing, signalling that a message was ready to be displayed on the large screen.
It was a wording message:
Go to the basement. We have a situation and had to evacuate.
-K

What the hell is going on?

[Eggie]

I went down to the basement and into the barred room. I took a nearby fire-immediate axe and cut at the wooden bar. Finally, I opened up the bar, and the door. When I went in, I saw three large capsules with figures in them. I have seen them before. There was a red wolf-like beast, a blue woman, and a featherless large yellow bird. Their names were printed beside their capsules...

Ifrit...
Shiva...
Quezcoatl...

Cool. I opened them up and all of them gasped and coughed. Who were they? I've heard of their 'junctioning power', whatever that was. Shiva got up, and I stared at her fine blue body. She wore some sort of plant bikini, which doesn't really count. He he. Quezzy started to fly. Ifrit stood up.
"Thanks for releasing us." Shiva said.
"Uh..." I murmured, "Who are you and what were you doing in there?"
"I can answer that." Quezzy said, "You see, I was the only one conscious when this happened. This based was heavily attacked, so everyone evacuated, except us, Kai-Xin barred us in here and sealed us."
"So what are you?" I asked.
"We are Genji." Ifrit answered, "You can use us to give you power to reduce pain rapidly, and let you share our power."
"How?" I asked. They clenched their 'fists' and showed me shiny, glowing stones.
"These are Genji Stones." Shiva explained, "With these, you can gain our powers. Take them, and think about putting them your body. To ge them out think of putting them out."
"We will hide in the stones, because this place is messed up." Quezzy laughed.

[Blazes Battles Inc.]

(Okay, now this is becoming a seriously ****ed-up FF8 spoof.)
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Preserve OHR history! Do it for the children!

[Shadowiii]

I concur. Do you concur?
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But enough talk, have at you!

[Eggie]

(It's based on a game, really, but not an OHR game.)

Well, I'm cool with what I have done here. I left the base quickly, cause I do not know what the F--- was in there. As I left I seen a girl screaming as she was loaded in a van by two huge muscular men. Another man, standed nearby watching with no emotion or concern. The girl was taken away in the van.
I ran up to the man left behind, "What the hell just happened?"
"My daughter has to learn the hard way." He grunted.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"Well," He sighed, "My daughter is very bad and rebellious, and puts my family name in shame. I asked a company to execute her."
"Uhh..." I muttered, "Is that even legal?"
"Who cares?" He walked away. Well, executing a girl in this state is illegal. I decided to leave the bastard behind and went back into the base to see if there was any cars in storage. I checked to find that there was a Mazda Protege. I took the keys from the key locker, and drove. I had to speed, every second could make a difference. I realized this wasn't really a very good agent car. It had no gun storage or anything. No GPS is the biggest problem.
All I could do is see if I could find hte van. I came up to an intersection, and saw the blue van with the odd symbol on it, like a E and a R put together. I seen it roll up to a factory. Whatever this girl was being punished for, I'm sure that it's wrong. I'm the good guy. I need to stop this. Finding out what happened to the base can wait.

[Blazes Battles Inc.]

(When I said FF8? That's not an OHR game. Final Fantasy 8?)
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Preserve OHR history! Do it for the children!