Castle Paradox

Onlyoneinall · **Bug finder** Joined: 16 Jul 2005 Posts: 746

It seems that these neverending stories are more or less, random sentence thoughts that any person at any time will type down, making for something that goes on forever but never really makes sense or has a point.

How about we try something more serious? Let's try to do a story that is in the least, always serious. Please don't screw it up with a stupid post. This is to keep things serious, and to also have some intellect in it. Proper grammar and spelling is highly recommended.

"I should have known better. It was inevitable.
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LongeBane · Joined: 03 Feb 2003 Posts: 312 Location: Tomorrow

It was inevitable that clawing away at this grandouse meal full of ravenous and excruciating beans which I bought with what little money my dear father who passed away from a very sad fate has given me, would cause me to go into a round of explosive diarrhea, which had the unexpected consequence of delaying me from reaching my extremely urgent, and serious flight on time.

Joe Man · Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 11:32 pm Post subject:

Seriously.
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Last edited by Joe Man on Fri Dec 13, 1957 1:21 am; edited 2,892 time in total

Valigarmander · Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2006 11:34 pm Post subject:

(Now, this is my kind of NES. While I do enjoy the randomness of regular NESs, I'd rather take part in one that actually makes sense. However, Onlyone, realize that it is futile to prevent stupid posts, and I expect this thread to end up crashing into the ground a burning heap just like all the other never-ending stories. Rolling Eyes

Oh well, it will be fun while it lasts.)

Bob shook his head. "What the fuck are you talking about? D-Diarrhea? Your father? What the hell? J-Just untie me!"

The man's mouth formed a crooked, sinister smile. "I digress. I suppose you want to know why you are here? Well, first of all, I suppose I should tell you my name." His grin widened. "I'm a very famous man."

Bob spat blood on the ground. "Let me go, you son of a bitch!"

"My name is

LongeBane · Joined: 03 Feb 2003 Posts: 312 Location: Tomorrow

Bob, and I woked up from my daze. "What a weird dream involving some guy named Bob and a missed flight to-", then I immediately remembered I had to catch my flight to Russia to see my dying mother. I was at the airport terminal when I realized I was incredible hungry, and with what little money I had, I headed to a local mexican fastfood nearby, and purchased some ravenous and excruciating beans with what little money I was left. After a few minutes, I started hearing my stomach rumble. I knew it was inevitable that

Valigarmander · Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 1:30 am Post subject:

(

)

I had diarrhea, and I quickly realized that my dream had something to do with my subconscious urge to eat Mexican food. As I sat in the bathroom stall shitting my guts out, a knock came at the door.

"Occupied!"

A mysteriously familiar voice spoke, which I could barely hear amongst the sound of my bodily functions. "My name is Razz

, but that's hard to pronounce so you can just call me Xerian."

"What the fuck do you want?"

"I want your body."

"WTF!?"

"I want your body, Bob!"

"How do you know my name?"

"That is not important. I need your body, because it carries

Lyhn Sohler · Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 1:34 am Post subject:

my child, and I must have him back, you son of a bitch!" "But I don't know what you're talking abo-- WHUUOOOAHHH!" With one massive heave I released what I thought was the world's largest crap, but as I looked down into the toilet bowl I discovered a human baby! "WTF!?" The man outside suddenly

Onlyoneinall · **Bug finder** Joined: 16 Jul 2005 Posts: 746

You people.

became very serious as he let out a sigh and mumbled quietly, but loud enough so I could hear.

"You do not realize the degree of treachery you have just caused." With one swift motion, the bathroom stall door came crashing down and I jump startled. "No more games!" He shouted as he grabbed me with a inhumanely strong grip and threw me against the wall.
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Valigarmander · Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 2:17 pm Post subject:

"What the hell do you want?" I cried. "T-Take the damn baby! I don't want it!"

"What baby?" Befuddled, I glanced downward into the toilet bowl and, to my shock, discovered there was no baby. Was I seeing things?

"I d-don't know!" I tried in vain to wrestle free from Xerian's iron grip.

The man reached into his pocket, and to my horror produced a

Rimudora · Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 3:02 pm Post subject:

court order.

LongeBane · Joined: 03 Feb 2003 Posts: 312 Location: Tomorrow

I looked closer at the court order, but realized that it was not a court order I was looking at, but the baby that had been in the toilet just a moment ago. I was in shock at the grotesque presentation of which the state of the baby was in.

Onlyoneinall · **Bug finder** Joined: 16 Jul 2005 Posts: 746

The world seemed to become hazy, and I felt a tightness in my throat as my eyelids grew weak. Moments later, I awoke to find myself already boarded on the plane. Looking down at my lap, I saw a newspaper article in front of me, telling of a woman who had had her child in the bathroom in the midst of a burglar who had broken into her house.
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Valigarmander · Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 12:08 am Post subject:

I shook my head and wiped the sweat from my brow. Pushing the paper off of my lap, I looked around. To my surprise, the plane was entirely empty save for myself. Confused, I stood up from my seat. Was I still dreaming? I pinched myself. "Ow!" Nope, I was awake. I stepped uneasily into the alley and walked along the rows of empty seats towards the cockpit. As I took a step the plane suddenly seemed to shudder. I paused, then as I went for another step a deep, mechanical moan filled the air, like some sort of machine creaking under pressure.

I was scared. Scared shitless. Why was I on an empty plane? What were these sounds I was hearing? I felt sick to my stomach. I stumbled to the cockpit door, my hand outstretched. I felt vomit in the back of my mouth. My hand grasped hold of the door handle. It turned easily, the door was unlocked. Woozily, I pulled the door open, and inside the cabin, I saw

LongeBane · Joined: 03 Feb 2003 Posts: 312 Location: Tomorrow

a toilet. It appears that I have mistaken the cabin for the bathroom. I am scared out of my mind, no less. I thought I heared the scream of a baby at the end of the toilet. Hesistantly, I turned around, and continued to move towards the eerie voice coming from the cabin, which sounded differently from the previous baby scream I had thought I heard. I then slowly opened the cabin door, and what I saw was

Valigarmander · Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 8:50 am Post subject:

the most horrible sight. The pilot, to my knowledge the only other person on the plane, was impaled on the control pad, his entrails hung around the room like macabre Christmas decorations. His face was locked in an expression of horror, blood oozing from his wide eyes and gaping mouth. I couldn't take it, and I threw up all over the place. The sick, bitter taste of vomit filled my mouth and the foul odor filled the air. Suddenly, the most terrifying thought filled my mind: who was flying the plane? As I stood, covered in vomit and scared out of my mind, I could only mutter to myself, "What the hell is going on!?" A loud crack as something blunt struck my head from behind, then everything went black.

I awoke several hours later in a daze.