Castle Paradox

Sephyroth · Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2003 6:40 am Post subject:

It's hilarious because they're not human.

Wouldn't they celebrate "Floating Animals Day" or something?

The Wobbler · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Posts: 2221

Shadowiii · **It's been real.** Joined: 14 Feb 2003 Posts: 2460

Silly monkeys?
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But enough talk, have at you!

The Wobbler · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Posts: 2221

Shadowiii · **It's been real.** Joined: 14 Feb 2003 Posts: 2460

OOOOOOOOOoooooohhhhhh..... "Gay Chickens" material. Gotcha (BANNED FOR BAD ATITUDE AGAINST SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS)
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But enough talk, have at you!

The Wobbler · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Posts: 2221

Chaos Nyte · Reviewer Joined: 03 Jan 2003 Posts: 511 Location: Hirakata

Personally, I thought the comic before the Heroist one was funnier, but still bravo. It's always nice to see community norms poked at in a way that makes people laugh. And no, of course you won't be banned for it. I mean yeesh, we do host BlackSheep.

As for your new game getting no reviews, well, I played it, and to be honest, it didn't seem long enough to merit a review. Oh, and wallmap the secret entrance to the prison. I wandered over there and accidently skipped over the rest of the demo on my first play through.

The Wobbler · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Posts: 2221

Me · Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2003 8:47 pm Post subject:

A bit late on the response, but absolutely great comics, PHC. "Nobody f*cks with Jesus" - hilarious. Since I generally don't agree with the heroists and their little Human Day thing, this is great.
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The Wobbler · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Posts: 2221

Me · Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2003 11:55 am Post subject:

Yeah, I noticed that. The Big Lebowski is one of my favorite movies of all time, and Jesus is one of the greatest minor characters ever. I second the motion to have everyone watch it. (BANNED FOR SPAM POST)
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The Wobbler · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Posts: 2221

Chaos Nyte · Reviewer Joined: 03 Jan 2003 Posts: 511 Location: Hirakata

Personally, and I'm probably going to start a flame war over this, but I thought Walthros: Mercenaries was pretty crummy.

Don't get me wrong, the maptiles were much improved over Walthros, and the immense amount of playable character types were nice. But the game failed on so many levels it was a struggle to play through. Well, here-

1. Completely unrealistic maps.

The mercenary camp was a cramped little place with all the NPCs set to wander. It was hard to walk around in, there were no guards in the sense of actual guarding as opposed to wandering around randomly, and nothing to do. It was a typical RPG 4 house "town". I was completely unwhealmed by it. Same with the prison and the army's camp. The towers in the army camp where particularly unrealistic. The intro started off with such an interesting premise and then it was shot to hell when you actually gave the player control. Seriously, if I was a two faced mercenary fighting for both sides of a war, I wouldn't be spouting off banel comments about how "The Ralz are always looked down upon because we're mainly bandits!".

2. The war was really stupid.

Seriously. Other then the story locations in the game, there was no reason for the war to exist. No towns, cities, or resources. Just trees and mountains. I couldn't care less about the war, because there was nothing to care about. In my eyes, it was just these two small groups fighting over nothing. As a result I couldn't care about my missions, the characters, or even take the danger seriously. Oh, and murdering a few dozen troops in the underground passageway in random battles and then being stopped dead by two of them in really silly.

3. Useless secondary character.
While I only managed to get two of them, (The cat, and the fish) after the conversation in the army camp, they proceeded to become useless baggage. I was expecting them to say something, anything in the prison break, but nope. It's just Zero, spouting off about how wrong it all was. Seriously, it's a good idea, but it's like you caved in on the idea after the first mission.

4. Zero sucks.
Seriously. He's a mercenary, at level 1, with one skill. Raising his levels and such would be fine for a regular RPG, but he's suppose to be a warrior for hire! He needs levels and more skills! Same with equipment. As far I would guess part of joining such a mercenary guild would be benefits like a place to sleep, regular work, and decent equipment. Unless I'm missing something, mercenaries go on missions they take for money, their boss would get part of the profit, and they'd get the rest of the loot. In return, they get fed, a place to sleep, and some decent armor. Having to save up and buy my damn character a shirt was very annoying, and unrealistic, even for a flying seal.

In short, Surlaw, I'd probably give the game a D+/C- in review. It was much improved over Walthros in certain areas, but the complete lack of atmosphere and setting left me feeling bored and ripped off for wasting time my on it.

The Wobbler · Joined: 06 Feb 2003 Posts: 2221