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Castle Paradox
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redacted (6) vs. Fernurion
redacted (6) The world map. Welcome to Bland Island.
Download: 4 KB
Play Time: 2 hours and 30 minutes
Review # 3 for Fernurion The world map. Welcome to Bland Island.
Them's Fightin' Words
    The Eight Granasties is a game brimming with the obsene. Fart jokes, a swamp of snot and evil killer pimples ooze from the game, making it highly attractive for the younger teen crowd.
    Let’s begin with the world map. It is a bit on the bland side, with a few trees dotted about the place, some buildings for the dungeons, no shoreline and some odd looking barricades. Nothing special here, but you don't spend much time on this map anyway. Upon entering the lairs of the Granasties graphics take a turn for the better, with detailed carpets and furniture that is immediately recognisable. Each lair uses a separate tileset, making each look unique.

Next, characters. Not bad at all. Walkabouts are fine, not overly detailed and each character is a different hight, Although the fat guy looks like he's having a fit with his axe during the N/S steps. Having one character on a horse looks interesting, if slightly disproportionate. In battle the monster graphics took good. Nothing special in most cases, but good. Same goes for characters, save few odd looking eyes.

The Eight granasties also features cutscenes. The quality of these pictures is great, and really help progress the story.
    So, apparently a rift opens to a weaker layer of hell, dropping out eight beings that accentuate all of people’s personality flaws. These are the Granasties, named after Granada Hills where they landed, and because they’re nasty. Sort of a seven deadly sins thing, with stupidity thrown in for good measure. They go on a rampage until a group of hero’s rounds them up and ditch them on an island, charging the president to watch it. Bush come to power and ignores the island, allowing the Granasties to build up their power. Bush takes notice and, in a very uncharacteristic move, decides not to bomb the island and send a few people to kill the Granasties.

The story goes from there, with 3 boys of around 16 years being 'chosen' to go. Much of the story after that is 'hurry up and kill the next one!’ bush bashing, sexual innuendo and the rescuing of a lost girlfriend. This all typical teenager stuff.
    The Eight Granasties sports satisfactory game play. From appearances, it contains little plot scripting. Although this subtracts from the game a little, it is made up for with extensive use of tags. Cut scenes are queued by text boxes. On the up side, this eliminates one major source of bugs, granting smooth game play.  
    The meat of this game is in the battles. Heroes get a small selection of moves, with a limited MP pool. This means that a bulk of the battles are won by mashing the space bar. Boss fights use spawning to create more interesting fights, such as mutant pimples popping off one boss when hit or snotballs randomly appearing. These fights however can also be won with spacebar mashing, pausing occasionally to use a health item or special move.  
  Map Design
    While the world map is kind of bland, the lairs are laid out to be moderately easy to navigate, though still looking good. No secret passages or annoying block puzzles, simply find a key (if necessary) and then find the boss. Dotted about are weird pink cat heads, acting as save points. The presence of a few hidden events, such as a bin full of mutant pimples, makes exploring interesting.
    Blessed balance! In the beginning, monsters are easy to fight, and progress in difficulty as the game progresses. After a while random monster battles become a chore, a trap which many RPG's fall into. Stats are well rounded and calculated. Heroes only get a few abilities, each are a bit powerful, but this is balanced out by higher cost, meaning that they can only be used a few times. Boss spawns work well, being easy to defeat but a hassle if ignored.
    Well selected and placed music. It’s all of a light-hearted nature, matching the feel of the game nicely, while also fitting with the present environment, though in some places to a lesser degree. Some sound tracks can quickly to get annoying; while other times the volume change can really be heard between tracks.  
    If you don't like snot, pimples, sex, bush bashing and so on, you won't enjoy this game. If you do like these, you will play for a while, but get bored with it around the third or forth boss. While play is enjoyable in the beginning, it fails to hold the attention of the player. This can be partially attributed to the vulgar nature of the story and environments. The main thing that drags down the enjoyment are the bland random monster battles. Again, a trap many RPG's fall into. The occasional 'mini boss' random battle, or even giving current monsters some interesting spells, would improve this no end. The occasional spelling mistake, while annoying, were few enough to ignore.

Simply put, The Eight Granasties is a game for the younger audience, or those who enjoy a lot of toilet humour.
Final Blows
    The Eight Granasties is appealing, visually and audibly. The story, while vulgar, flows easily from one event to the next. Battles are well balanced and, while random battles become tedious, bosses are made interesting through use of the spawn system. All in all, not a bad game. Older RPGers will steer clear, but younger players will be drawn by the content.
Yes, she has a pen up her nose. Did I mention the Granasties were Canadian?

Yes, she has a pen up her nose. Did I mention the Granasties were Canadian?
Final Scores
Graphics: 8/10.0
World map need work, but the lairs are nicely done
Storyline: 7.5/10.0
Flows easily, helped by dreative use of cutscenes. The content is a bit vulgur however
Gameplay: 7/10.0
Great at first, but stagnates after an hour or two. Nice use of tags.
Music: 8.5/10.0
Matches the mood of the game and environments perfectly
Enjoyment: 8/10.0
Random battles get a bit tiresome, but not bad.
Overall Grade: B-
Final Thoughts
    A game for the Teens, or anyone who is into rather disturbing people and body functions.  

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