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 1) 4 hits
+4 Ends of the Earth 2 by Valkayree
+3 Vore Day RPG by Ronin Catholic
 2) 2 hits
+2 Final Fantasy H by Fenrir-Lunaris
+1 Ends of the Earth by Valkayree
+1 Masks 15 pages by TheCrimsonDM
R vs. Moogle1
R I am the true King of Bling.
The Wobbler
Download: 152B
Play Time: 1 hours and 0 minutes
Review # 4 for Moogle1 I am the true King of Bling.
Them's Fightin' Words
    Fear and loathing. Fear and loathing and food. That is the essence of this game, which Surlaw has recently announced will receive a sequel. Fans of the original may rejoice; everyone else needs to play this game.
    Despite what his earlier games may have taught you, Surlaw is not totally inept at graphics. Reasonable caricatures of popular characters such as Mega Man, Zeus, and even Spider Man make appearances. Surlaw favorites such as Grimace and the Walthros crew are here with graphical revamps.  
    But that is only icing on the cake. The true gem in this game is the dialogue. All of the town's denizens have multiple lines of dialogue, as do Super Walrus Man and his chef-opponents and all of it is great. Surlaw's games have always been about the dialogue and this one is no exception.  
    Which is kind of unfortunate, because the cooking part of the game ends up being a little imbalanced.  
    The "battles" that make up this game are the challenge matches wherein you select an opponent and three ingredients. The challenge is, at least in theory, based around figuring out which judges like which ingredients and making an awesome dish out of those ingredients. This is a workable game concept, but it just so happens that 90% of the judges like the same ingredient. More on this later.

Fortunately, I guess, it costs nothing to enter a challenge. You even get a little money if you lose! You'll have to win against each opponent at least once, though, to beat the game. Opponents increase in challenge, but basically it boils down to your score being higher than their (randomly generated) score.
  Map Design
    Not entirely applicable, though the town was charming.  
    It's good that the game is amusing, because the gameplay is anything but solid. Once I discovered that I could select the same ingredient three times for the same dish, I used the aforementioned "secret ingredient" that almost all of the judges like to create all of my dishes. It made the game much less exciting.

But not only is there one super-ingredient, half of the ingredients are useless! It's possible that I just didn't know what I was doing, but any dish in which I included any sweets automatically scored negative. If there's only one improvement in the sequel, I'd like it to be a gameplay adjustment. I endured the matches rather than enjoying them after realizing that tripling up on my ingredient was the best way to go.
    Music? Yes, there was. It was not very memorable, I think, since I beat this game yesterday and I no longer remember a single song. It isn't outstanding, but it doesn't detract, either. Points.  

The bottom line is that you will enjoy this game. Lost your match? The blow is cushioned by your opponent's hilarious victory quote ("Also, Yoga Flame? Yes.") and the ensuing conversation with your uncle ("ANTIWALRUSISM"). Won the match? You're one step closer to the final showdown. When I saw who my opponent was, I just had to laugh. The caricatures are well-done and the immense variety is humor enough in itself. Add to that the new personalities with which Surlaw has endowed these otherwise-familiar characters and you've got a real winner.
Final Blows
    Frankly, if you're looking for a good chef simulator, look elsewhere. If you want to enjoy an hour of your life and don't particularly care how it's done, this is the game for you. I'm looking forward to the sequel.
The plot thickens. (That happens if you leave it out overnight.)

The plot thickens. (That happens if you leave it out overnight.)
Final Scores
Graphics: 7/10.0
Above average. The characters are well-drawn.
Storyline: 1/10.0
None, really. Don't let that concern you.
Gameplay: 4/10.0
It's great until you start to figure out how it works.
Music: 5/10.0
Unmemorable, but that's not always bad.
Enjoyment: 10/10.0
Overall Grade: B
Final Thoughts
    It won't help you learn how to cook, but it is 95% guaranteed to make you laugh. The other 5% of you really need to get your blood pressure checked.  

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