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Rise of the Dragon Slayers vs. Psyco2000
Rise of the Dragon Slayers
Stargames Software
Download: 394 KB
Review # 23 for Psyco2000
Them's Fightin' Words
    Okay, this game got a 10.0, and a 1.0. Hmmm, a poser. So what is it, good or bad? 7 Dragons once lived with humans, and everyone was happy. Each of the 7 dragons controlled one of the 7 elements, earth, wind, fire, water, light, shadow, and Richard Simmons. Well, some greedy guys called Slayers decided they wanted to kill the dragons, and went about doing it. They killed the Dragon of light, and plunged the world into total darkness. This is how smart the populace is, folks! So the world sucks, it's night all the time, crops are dying, and people rely on fireflies to light their homes. Really, just light a torch. The funny thing is, THESE PEOPLE DIDN'T LEARN THE FIRST TIME! Off they go again, to destroy the dragon of Water. Really, first Light, now Water? Just slit your own throats, already! Why not start at the least important ones, like wind, or Richard Simmons! And who offers a $10 trillion reward, anyway? Oh, and apparently there's something about Demons that pops up in here, though I haven't a clue why.

Now that I'm done tearing apart the storyline, onto music. A cat walking on a piano could do better. I actually liked the in-building music, but after that, whoo! I've heard squealing breaks that sound better. Seriously, I had this sharp little pain in my temple...

Graphics. Graphics, in a word, are iffy. Maptiles are among the best of the rest I've seen. The only thing that keeps them from being among the best is that they are too dark to see anything. Walkabouts are okay, but the characters walk like they've got too much startch in their pants. Battle graphics suck. C'mon, porcupines? The backdrop wasn't too bad for MSPaint. Also, as always, I was impressed by the little movie.

I'm starting to think that they killed the Dragon of Good Grammar, too. All of the townsfolk seem to had horrible dialogue and talking to them was pointless, because they never had anything useful to say.

Battles are undercooked. They are terribly lopsided in favor of the player. And why does every RPG need Techs? All the equipable items are ignorant, too. How can someone wear a wooden shirt? If he had used the symbol for armor, than I could understand, but shirt? And a wooden hat? Come on, focus!
Final Scores
Graphics: 8/10.0
The strength of the game. If the author would just lighten them a bit, allow the walkabouts to move, and fix the enemy graphics, it could be worth while.
Storyline: 1/10.0
Holier than the Pope! Everything has a tendancy to happen all of a sudden, and for no obvious reason.
Gameplay: 1/10.0
Grammar is atrocious. I was waiting for someone to run around, screaming "All your base are belong to us!" Get the characters an education, then we'll talk.
Music: 1/10.0
No hope. No Hope whatsoever. Get new music. I don't care if it's ripped, original, or built in, just get new music!
Overall Grade: F-
Final Thoughts
    Not good. Not good at all! To Hell with the plague, avoid this one like the Apocalypse! But we can always blame this one on Richard Simmons.  

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