Them's Fightin'
Words |
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I'm not sure what upsets me the most. The fact the story is convoluted, or the fact that it was pulled off in one of the worse ways imaginable. There's some gab to this game, unfortunately it's on life support. I'm reviewing this because the title hooked me, but not in a good way, not even in a bad way, in that 'who's lame enough to name it this?' way.
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Graphics |
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Graphics. Big weakness for this game. Tilesets are subpar, walkabouts less (chickens can turn into hotdogs for some reason). Some enemies are ripped, the rest are just crummy representations of their names. Attacks are even worse( There's less than 10, and a good amount are just palette swaps) and that title screen is pretty nauseating, being the only real original backdrop in the entire game.
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Storyline |
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Story is what drove this game. Straight into an old folks home. It's a very typical "Kingdom in ruins, hero from another dimension comes to save them" that you get sick after the 9 billionth time. This time, the 'Airians' (I didn't write it folks) are under a tyrannical rule, and requires saving from someone who wields a mystical legendary sword (where've we heard that one before). Somehow an abusive father and a minute love story is thrown into this, for no real consequence either. Either case all the dialogue was written on the fly (and if it wasn't, oh boy..) The flow is pretty horrible too. The intro sequence is completely useless (almost all of it is repeated on eventually). Not to mention there's a good portion of the game where you have no idea where you should be going because you might have missed something skipping the textboxes. Overall, this isn't a highlight that it should be. Lot and lots of fixing MIGHT save this, but that's a huge bound to overcome on its own.
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Gameplay |
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Not interesting. That's all I can sum it up to. It's not advantageous, its tedious and 'lame' in simplest terms. It's hard to count the factors that makes playing the game worth it, and most of it can't even add up to become an "average" OHR game.
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Battle |
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This is horrible. You can kill anyone and anything once you reach level 5. Unfortunately some 1/3 into the game, there is a certain enemy that can do the same. Eventually you can just burn this game in half once you reach 300 hit points. The last boss is joke (in all terms), and all the other battles are just dumbed down to 'pointless'. There's no real challenge, nor is there a strategy to anything. You could have easily textboxed the battles in and it wouldnt've made a difference.
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Map Design |
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This has to be the game's worst component. There are placeholder houses and blank doors that do less than annoy the player. There are countless dud NPCs that just get in doorways. There's a very linear flow to everything, but even that flow is illogical. There are towns that don't hold a purpose, confusing and tedious dungeons, and some sections of the game are I'm sure just there to piss off players( I'm talking about a very lengthy and useless water map). By the way.. there is a certain door in this game that will royally screw up the story if you take it (Walk backwards after the last boss).
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Balance |
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Little. This is too easy. I easily ripped through this game just to see if the story went anywhere. Fortunately it had some sort of conclusion, but was not worth hammering the space bar for about an hour.
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Music |
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Ripped. Even says in the credits where, which is nice. Sad part is the songs rarely matched the occasion. I heard Final Fantasy 3 riffs while not playing it, which kind of threw off what mood I was suppose to be in. Disappointing, even for intentional ripping.
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Enjoyment |
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Poor. Most of this is unsalvagable. It wasn't fun really. It's a bad conglomerate of overdone story lines and mish mash dialogue that doesn't amount to much when it's all over. The setting did hold something, but not for very long. I really hoped the story went somewhere. It lulled over the same plot repeatedly, not to mention that somehow it's open to a sequel. There's very little I think held this together from just being a total waste of time.
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Final Blows |
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I played this because the I found the title so nocuous and lame that I couldn't help myself. Unfortunately the rest of the game is just like its title. Silly, poorly thought out, and unfounded. There's no serious spark of inspiration behind this thing, which makes it worse for the rest who are actually playing.
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There are so many bad out-of-context things I could say with this one, but I'll let you choose yours. |
Final Scores
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Graphics: 2.5/10.0 |
Cheesy, and partially ripped. Lots of the tilesets and enemies make no sense, and the ones that do don't impress.
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Storyline: 2/10.0
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Bad. Done-to-death components and cliched characters don't do anything anymore. There's no pizazz to look forward to either. |
Gameplay: 2/10.0 |
Poor. It's average, if not less. It's hardly fun, and too easy to burn through. The objectives are stupid, and the wandering around for them is less enticing.
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Music: 3/10.0
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Points off for poorly using ripped music. Seriously, if you're gonna rip, use the best song possible for the situation. |
Enjoyment: 2.5/10.0
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This was played from pure curiousity, and I didn't really get anything out of it. I can't even say it was fun while it lasted. |
Overall Grade:
F+ |
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Final Thoughts |
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This is newbie game, no doubt about it. So don't expect anything impressive or different in here. |
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