| Them's Fightin'
Words |
| |
|
Sometimes it surprises me just how incredibly stupid some games can be. I mean, some of these games don't just seem like the creator's didn't try to make them good, but often also look like the author had deliberate and malicious intent to make them bad. Mr. Mushroom's Magical Adventure, for instance, is highly suspect.
|
| Graphics |
| |
|
These graphics, they suck. It's as simple as that. Sometimes the author tried to get a "nice" gradient look on the trees, but they just looked awful. As for the walkabouts and battle graphics, they were just...bad. There are about two walkabouts, neither of which look at all good. And, while it was interesting how many battle backdrops the author took the time to create (which still sucked, by the way), having the battles use them so randomly was definitely a bad idea.
|
|
| Storyline |
| |
|
Well, if you talk to the first npc you'll find out that your character's name is Tim (don't let the actual character name deceive you, as it will tell you that your name is "mushroom"), and that you're supposed to be setting out on a quest to see the king in Benfart and join his Knights of the Triangle (or Triangl, it differs) Table. It will also tell you that it is your mother. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but my mother doesn't have to remind me of who she is every time I talk to her, but that could just be me...
I'm also left with the question of why "Tim" has been invited to join the Knights of the Triangl [sic] Table. I mean, how has he proven his worth? Why "Tim", instead of some other guy of equal (read: no) merit who's already in Benfart, like that guy who tells you that everyone in Benfart is so friendly?
Anyway, all arguments aside, "Tim" (who would probably forget his own name if no one told him what it was) sets out for Benfart. On the way, he has to fight various monsters for no apparent reason (except for one "wich is so bad it neads to be killed"), pass through a couple of forests and towns, and go through a very anticlimactic Cave of Doom of No Return (why would they put one of those so close to their town?). While he's at it, he'll meet some very bland and less than helpful npcs, most of which look almost exactly like him, and all of which have no grasp of the English language. He'll also encounter locked doors, never speak, and NEVER LEAVE THE SAME MAP.
In the end, the king, of course, accepts him as a knight, and then, somehow, the author managed to link to textbox 0, so, instead of seeing a box that says "The End", we just get a blank one. Rubbish.
|
|
| Gameplay |
| |
|
No items, very boring battles, and incredibly linear map design. Sounds like fun, right?
|
|
| |
Battle |
| |
|
Just hold enter and levelbust a bit, you'll be okay. There's only the normal attack (which is called "poo") and no items, so there really isn't anything else to do...
|
|
| |
Map Design |
| |
|
No really interesting or involving mazes, but a few boring ones. And ALL OF IT IS ON THE SAME MAP. Why?
At least the battles encounter rate wasn't too high, or wouldn't have been if all the battles weren't so bloody boring.
|
|
| |
Balance |
| |
|
None. No battle balance, awful pacing, and a game that isn't worth the time it takes to download, much less the time it takes to review.
|
|
| Music |
| |
|
None. Yes, I wouldn't be able to hear it anyway, but there is not a single BAM in this file.
|
|
| Enjoyment |
| |
|
None. It took up some nice time I could've allocated to better use.
|
|
| Final Blows |
| |
|
This isn't even newbie game quality, it's more like an I'm-practicing-on-this-engine game. Don't waste your time with this one, folks, it just isn't worth it.
|
Ahem. |
|
Final Scores
|
|
Graphics: 1/10.0 |
|
I don't even want to waste anymore of my time with this, so I'll just say no.
|
|
Storyline: 1/10.0
|
|
No. It had a total of 17 textboxes. I've written more words than that in this review, for goodness' sake. |
|
Gameplay: 1/10.0 |
|
No. Total rubbish.
|
|
Music: 1/10.0
|
|
No, none at all. |
|
Enjoyment: 1/10.0
|
|
And no. If you want my opinion, I'd say this game is a worthless piece of garbage. It doesn't even deserve to be remade, only to be cast into video game hell. |
|
Overall Grade:
F- |
|
| Final Thoughts |
| |
|
The "magic" promised in the title is totally left out of this game. The closest word to describing it would be "whimsical", and even that's pushing it. |
|
|
