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Dino Park vs. Komera
Dino Park ...ture?  What?  Argh!  Spellcheck!
Download: 41 KB
Play Time: 0 hours and 7 minutes
Review # 3 for Komera ...ture? What? Argh! Spellcheck!
Them's Fightin' Words
    Jurrasic Park was a good movie, a good game several times over, and a good book. Dino Park... isn't.
    Oh, the pain! The pain! There is no animation, either tiles or hero. Well, the dinosaurs are animated... if you could make them out among the backgrounds. As far as I can see, no walkabout or tile has more than four colors. But your first real warning comes from the title screen... a ripped Jurrasic Park logo with "Jurrasic" edited out and "Dino" written in using (presumably) nothing more than the paint brush tool in mspaint. Rather pitiful when concidering that the Jurrasic Park font is free to download off of any font site.  
    You're Dr. Alan Grant. You start out standing next to a grey hexagon marked with a large red "H" (a heliport, I'm guessing) and proceed to walk into the compound (a whole whoppin two buildings, only one of which is enterable). There are two people, both equally as useful (not much), and two cars... the pastely orange one that Rex calls 'the one with the red bars on top' is yours. If you drive or walk around, there are cages with wandering dino npcs. Like the movie, spotting them is rather hit or miss, depending if they decided to be kind enough and wander into your field of view. Moving beyond the cages, there's a lonely building way out in the boonies. Inside you get the message that the power is out and you should run. But once you leave the building... wasn't everything supposed to be in chaos? I think so, but all there is at this point is a boring map that you're stuck with.  
    The wall map is a bit shoddy in places. Things you expect to walk over (grass) bars your path while things that you should walk through (trees) are amazingly tollerant. Outside of the minor detail of being stuck on the post-power map, this is the only real problem that I could spot in the 2 minutes of real play.  
  Map Design
    Horrid, to say the least. Horrid right from the start where you can see areas (I'd say rooms, except that this is "outside") that you really shouldn't. Who knows? It must be the same spacial phenomenom that shoves rooms together in some games when your inside when outside it's physically impossible for them to be that close together. And from there it gets worse. Lots of areas filled with only one tile. The only semi-interesting area was the dino-cages. And then it gets worse... the last map of the game is half empty.  
    Poo, I'm not punishing myself more than I need to.  
    In seven minutes? You're kidding me, right? Nay, I did not enjoy it. These are seven minutes of my life I can never have back and I spent them wandering around on pointless maps.
Final Blows
    Avoid! Avoid! Go watch Jurrasic Park... it's worth the money and time. Or read the book, or play the game... just avoid Dino Park like you would a T-Rex.
AAAHHH!  Those rampant dinos have eaten the very landscape!!!  Or is it the Nothing from The NeverEnding Story?

AAAHHH! Those rampant dinos have eaten the very landscape!!! Or is it the Nothing from The NeverEnding Story?
Final Scores
Graphics: 3/10.0
Four colors, oh my! Aw, c'mon! NES games only have three colors, and they still beat this game in graphics.
Storyline: 2/10.0
zzzZZZzzzZZZzzz... *snort* huh? what? OH! Um.... sorry, it put me to sleep.
Gameplay: 2.5/10.0
About as exciting as watching grass grow. Nothing new here, and even old mistakes to enjoy. However that might be accomplished.
Music: 1/10.0
Enjoyment: 2.5/10.0
To borrow a line from Weird Al: "I would rather rip out my intestines with a fork..."
Overall Grade: F
Final Thoughts
    If ever there were an example of why you should spend more than 7 minutes making a game... this surely must be it. Also hands down the best example of why you should playtest your own game. But surely the best example (aside from the infamous Magnus) of why you shouldn't even come up with putrid ideas like this in the first place.  

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