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The Land Of Blobs RPG 2000 vs. Dalaran
The Land Of Blobs RPG 2000
Mark Manansala and Manman Viivas
Download: 324 KB
Review # 9 for Dalaran
Them's Fightin' Words
    My name? Yes, it is a location from Warcraft 2, now, let us never speak of it again. Let us speak, instead, of something else of which I will speak only once, that thing being this game, "Land of the Blobs". The story is one of cultural oppression... Who am I kidding, the story consists of two exposititonal text boxes that occur before the game actually starts. The basic story is, "There is a war between the slimes and the blobs. The blobs are losing. You are Slarp, the bravest blob.", except the text boxes contain more slang and more grammatical errors.

The good points of this game are few. There are three nice musical tracks to this game. Unfortunately, each is less than five seconds long. In addition, there is one longer track that also makes for easy listening. I suspect it was ripped, but as I've never heard it any where else, I'll give the programmer "benefit of my doubt" for scoring purposes. Secondly , the programmer displays a relatively solid, yet basic, grasp of programming. In other words, he can make you walk over to the bed when you check into the inn, and is able to spontaneously generate combat from invisible "step on activation" NPC's that are only useable once. As we come to the end of the "good points" paragraph I would like to mention in closing that the flowing, purple lava background was "wicked" (meaning good).

The bad points of this game are of opposite quantity than that of the good points, that is to say "many!" The graphics were pathetic and consisted mostly of ovals with an outline and some type of face painted on them. That makes for an average of three colors (Well, okay, the average was four) per graphic. I already mentioned the storyline, right? Remember, hopelessly confined to two (count them, two!) text boxes? Then, there is "the Glop Team" which visously attacks you as soon as the game begins with no mention of whether they are "Slimes" or renegade "Blobs" are a seperate race altogether. The gameplay was uneven and completely incoherent. You begin with about nine spells hidden throughout three different menus, and no explantion as to which spells are more effective than others. For example, my favorite spell was "Megabolt". It was a lightning spell that cost 0 (!) MP, and was inexplicably linked to a randomly targeted, random spread, ice spell. Further infuriating was the equipment which increased ALL statistics including counter (which is not allocated to a useful job). I think I'm finished now... Please, proceed calmly to the game "scoring" section.
Final Scores
Graphics: 3/10.0
Bad, but not mind numbing, due mostly to the fact that the demo is only seven minutes long.
Storyline: 1.5/10.0
(Article author was in the bathroom, throwing up at this point) It did exist, in one form or another.
Gameplay: 2.5/10.0
Confusing, unerving, saddening, slightly boring, not as bad as the storyline though.
Music: 6/10.0
Good, shows promise even. I wish it wasn't so tediously repititous. It's certainly not normal OHR fare.
Overall Grade: F+
Final Thoughts
    This is either a badly done "Arfenhouse" knockoff, or "the kind of game about which your Arfenhouse Programmer warned you". Overall, I'd say one point on the happy side of sadistic.  

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