Castle Paradox

[Megumi]

I write a lot, but usually only in way of fanfiction. I only have one original story, and it's just something I wrote the very beginning to probably two years ago, and then I had to write a Medieval Romance for a class assignment a year ago, so I pulled it out and finished it. In one day. So, it's kinda crappy, and I had to stretch it to fit the requirements of the assignment, but I still like it. If you're interested, it's here:

http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=757261

I'm thinking of rewriting it, so I'd appreciate comments. I think I'd leave the magic part of it out, (was a requirement of the assignment) and make the ending less rushed (I was getting tired of writing by that time.) So other than that, what could I do to improve it? Thanks!
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When the earth fails to satisfy, where else can we look but to the sky?