Castle Paradox

Uncommon · Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2003 3:33 am Post subject: Howdy do, folks

Well, I have this story I'm writing, called Live By The Sword... It's basically a script for a game I'm going to make rather soon.

http://geocities.com/illucidus/writings/livebythesword.html

Yeah, so read it and tell me what you think. Note that this is the second draft going all the way to the end of chapter 3, so all those I had read it yesterday will have to read it again.
Don't be afraid to make negative comments. I can't get any better if I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Seth · Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2003 5:03 am Post subject:

TLC, From what I've read, that's great. Maybe you might be able to publish that as an E-novel, I'm sure people would like to read such a story.

(Is that a Psuedonym I see at the top of the page?)
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Grandtrain · Joined: 02 Feb 2003 Posts: 85

Pretty good. If I could change one thing, though, it would be the first paragraph of Chapter 1. Besides stuffing all those information at the beginning, you could slowly reveal them throughout the first and later chapters. Since you're going to turn it into a game, you might want to consider how to do it through dialogues.

Uncommon · Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2003 3:49 am Post subject:

Hurray, people finally replied!

Seth - Jason Morris Coldwright is indeed my pseudonym. I just used my own initials for it (JMC: Joshua Michael Callahan). THanks for the compliment.

Grandtrain - Actually, quite a bit of chapter one was originally a paragraph much like that, until I expanded it into the duel. I'm just figured the descriptive form of the first paragraph was somewhat necessary, as it would be rather awkward in any other form, and it would make the first chapter far too long. I would probably have to split it into two (but I probably should anyway...).

I actually had two more chapters to it when Ariana died (I had also proofread the first three chapters a little better), but I suppose I'll just have to rewrite them from what I remember of them... I'll also have to restart on everything (including my CBS draft) I had already made for the game whenever my Technomancer brother resurrects Ariana.