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Legenda - The RPG vs. Gizmog1
Legenda - The RPG There is no pain, you are receding.
fishbone
Download: 180 KB
V.S.
Gizmog1
Play Time: 0 hours and 33 minutes
Review # 4 for Gizmog1 There is no pain, you are receding.
Them's Fightin' Words
    I write this as I've just woken up, drenched in a pool of sweat and blood. My memory is faded, as though the last hours have not been spent well. Images are rushing through my skull, and I feel as though I've just been on an insanely taxing journey. I will attempt to describe the images.
Graphics
    I remember at first a forest. The forest was inhabited by the glum spirits of God only knows how many fallen souls. I have vague recollections of sand, fire, and darkness. The hair on the back of my wrists are scorched, and staring at these darkened burns, my memory has faithfully returned. Dear Lord, brace my soul for the onslaught to come.
 
Storyline
    It began in a forest. My spirit had been torn from it's body, and I stood a stark remnant of what I once was. I began wandering through this strange new land, and faced other pathetic creatures like myself. Some of them were shrouded in shadow, the grim survivors of the endeavors which awaited me.

It was in the forest I met the first of many pushers. He handed me a parcel,but gave me no idea of what it was or did. Bravely, I unwrapped it. Inside, stood a single black pill. Oh god, the black pills. With my back to the wind, I condemned myself to it's whimsy. Almost at once, I felt stronger, better, yea, even HIGHER than I ever had before.

I ventured forward, and found a man who offered to heal me, for a price. I gave him his toll, and at once found that my new strength and vigor had been taken away. I was aghast at the gall of this charlatan! For the rest of my journey, I ignored him and his kin!

As I exited the forest, I spoke to one of it's spectral inhabitants. "ARE YOU READY FOR THE BOSS?" I asked him to explain, but he could speak nothing more.

I left him and the forest, and found myself in the desert. Those who dwelled there were even more gaunt than those who had "lived" in the forest, and the words of my friend sparked my realization: the forest in which I had just visited was Heaven. And this barren wasteland that I was in now was Purgatory. Only by continuing onwards and downwards could I rid myself of my sins, and truely be ready for the boss. I tightened my robe around me, and marched through the wastes for what felt like days. At last I found myself on the edge of a cavern. Without a thought for my well being, I dove in.

It was terribly dark. My eyes were ill-adapted, and I stumbled for awhile, before I found the rocks. I was clearly in the upper layers of Hell, where lesser sinners would be forced to push rocks until their pennance was made. I pushed rocks myself for sometime, but felt no forgiveness. Thus, I wandered until I found one of the poor souls who inhabited this place.

The stranger answered none of my questions, however, he gave me a parcel. My heart skipped a beat. It had to be. There was never a doubt in my mind as to the contents, but I decided to peek to be sure. My suspicion was true. It was a black pill! I swallowed it instantly, and once again felt myself on that plateau of glory! I spoke to the man, and it seemed he had an abundance of such pills. He gave me as many as I could carry, with no charge. Apparently they could no longer bring light to his life. I thanked him profusely, but he didn't understand; he kept giving me more. As I retreated, he tossed more at me, which fell to the ground. Eventually I heard his rock begin to grovel around once more.

I found another intriguing man down here, who told me he had friends, and asked whether or not I could use such a friend. Before I could answer, a man in the dressings of an ancient monk came forward. Though he didn't speak to me, I felt it appropriate to give my companion a name. I decided upon Larry, the name of my ill-fated Father. I thanked the leader, who had given me command of this grunt, but he too failed to comprehend, and sent for another of his soldiers. I tried to protest, but this only led to another soldier being summoned. I bowed to this strange gentleman, and, after naming my two new manservants Daryl, and Daryl, the first after my ill-fated brother, and the second after my slightly less ill-fated brother, I set forth through the darkness, into where I hoped my sins could be sweated out: The firey depths of Hell.

We dropped through the hole, and instantly were accosted by heat and despair. Though they did not speak, I knew they too were feeling the woe of this place, and I divided the pills amongst us. We must have downed hundreds of them, one after the other, until we had run out. But we were feeling better than simply men: We were as Mega Men .

We tore a swath through the fires, feeling no better for our mortal transgressions, and at last, we found a dark pit, in which the fire was hottest. I tried to talk my companions into fleeing, but they were stoic in their resolve to follow me to the end. God bless them, wherever they are now.

We descended into the pit, well aware as we went down that none of us were likely to ever come back out. At the bottom of the chute, the winds ripped around us, and we heard the vilest of vile howls. The pills had worn off, and we were all feeling the weight of depression once more. I searched frantically, but couldn't turn up even one pill. My mind scrambled, but it was no avail. My hands began twitching and symbolling, and I looked down. I had conjured forth a pill! I don't know when or how I had learned this trick, but with a little thought, I recreated the miracle. I created millions of pills, and my friends and I partook of them. Flying higher than we ever had before, we marched defiantly into the lair of our tormentor, The Boss himself. We battled him for what seemed like hours, using weapons the Forest People had fashioned, and the madness of our Mega Men technique. At last he fell, surprised at his defeat. He allowed us to return to the forest, with a promise that we could face him again anytime we wished. It was there, in the forest that I lied down, tired from my journey. I fell asleep, and I don't know what happened after, until my awakening here, without my comrades.
 
Gameplay
    My repentances were numerous. Even in the Forest I was accosted by evil creatures which wished to feast on my soul. Through the desert the cacti were sentient, and they tried to defy my path to my lord and maker. The caverns were home to Golems, and worms seemingly made out of stone, who wished to bog me down with the constant rearranging of their earthen furniture. I took none of it, and my friends and I fought off the firey serpents of the lower level of hell, before finally defeating The Lord God himself in hand to hand combat. If it weren't for the pills, I wonder if we could have ever done it.
 
  Battle
    The battles were an almost constant evil, and my arm grew tired of the constant swinging of sword, and summoning of the Mega Man technique. None of the other Mega Men managed to learn the tecnique, though they did grow masterful at the art of throwing boulders, although I feel they were much better suited to plain old sword swinging.
 
  Map Design
    The labyrinthe nature of the Underworld is no feat of random occurence. Though I was able to find my way through without difficulty, I could tell it was maliciously designed to try and thwart away any and all who should try and follow the path to The Boss. It was a small hassle trying to find out how to gain entrance to each lower level, and there were bizarre Yellow Stones which served no apparent purpose nor hindrance in the cavernous level above the fires.
 
  Balance
    With my three partners, my Mega Men technique, and our pills, even the demons of hell posed no troubles for us.
 
Music
    I do not recall the auditory portions of this illusion.
 
Enjoyment
    The only enjoyment to be drawn from this experience are my lost friends, Larry, Daryl, and Daryl, and the magic of our black pills.
 
Final Blows
    I miss you three, and my deepest fear is that some night I will wake up once more, back into the forest, and instead of the generic haunted souls who inhabited it before, it will be you, devoid of the fighting spirit and fierce loyalty you paid me in our trip, and left as only blank rotten shells. I will never forget you, but I also regret should we ever meet again.
Our Mega Men technique proved devastatingly effective against all foes, even the Lord Himself.

Our Mega Men technique proved devastatingly effective against all foes, even the Lord Himself.
Final Scores
Graphics: 3.5/10.0
The visage of the afterlife is already faded in my mind. In a few days, it will be forgotten entirely.
Storyline: 2/10.0
Only the promise of forgiveness, and later on the enjoyment of pills, and my comrades kept me going. Without them, I would have bogged down, and lived out the rest of my life in the desert, withering away.
Gameplay: 3.5/10.0
I dare say that while there was some enjoyment to be derived from my experience, that most of it was not worth doing again, and I would warn any who follow in my footsteps that it is not all fun and games in the afterlife, although I'm sure curiousity seekers might enjoy some of the things I saw.
Music: 10/10.0
As stated, I have no recollection of the auditory portions of this illusion.
Enjoyment: 3.5/10.0
I'm afraid I must repeat, that while my enjoyment was limited, curiousity seekers may find some joy in the pills and monks of the afterlife, but I myself, have little mirth for it.
Overall Grade: D-
Final Thoughts
    I have found one last pill in my pocket. It is with the greatest of hopes that by taking it I can return to the land of heaven, and retrieve my friends Larry, Daryl, and Daryl before any ill fate should come to them. If I should not return, see to it that this is published.  


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