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the REAL CORNDOGS vs. The Wobbler
the REAL CORNDOGS A line of text from Gato Sucio, typed poorly. If you're going to steal a quote, at least copy it correctly.
wasp22
Download: 30 KB
V.S.
The Wobbler
Play Time: hours and Very few minutes
Review # 1 for The Wobbler A line of text from Gato Sucio, typed poorly. If you're going to steal a quote, at least copy it correctly.
Them's Fightin' Words
    This game is an example of what happens when someone tries to make a comedy without first understanding how humor works. Everything that can go wrong in comedy goes wrong in this game; It directly steals lines from something else, but doesn't do so in a satirical fashion. It just steals, screws up the spelling, and pukes it onto the screen. It uses needlessly bad graphics (see the next section for an explanation on this). It uses profanity on a level slightly less sophisticated than the humor of a six year old. This is obviously an intentionally bad game, but it exists for no reason. It doesn't satirize anything successfully. It wasn't made for a terrible game contest. It won't shock anyone. It won't be memorable in any way.
Graphics
    It's pretty blatant that the graphics are intentionally bad, from the almost exclusively green palette to the terribly drawn sprites. There are times when bad graphics serve a purpose; in Walthrus, I used bad graphics to satirize the graphics of Walthros, as a way of poking fun at people who said its graphics couldn't get any worse. In Final Fantasy XXX, bad graphics are used to injure the player's eyes. In Corndogs... there is no purpose. At first I thought the graphics might have been made in parody of the color scheme of old Game Boy games, but this doesn't make any sense at all. The game is simply ugly for the sake of being ugly.  
Storyline
    There is no story to be found at all. This wouldn't really matter in a comedy that is actually funny, but there's no humor in this game at all. Stealing text from another game and doing nothing with it isn't funny. Being stupid without any actual intention, parody, or jokes is a waste of time.  
Gameplay
    There's nothing here but a small map and a small number of battles that are won by holding the spacebar.  
  Battle
    There are a few non-random battles (thank God, as having random ones would have made this abomination even worse), but all you can do is attack and be attacked. The hero has a secondary spell list, but no spells. The hero and enemy speeds are all set far too low, and every battle is a pointless chore. After the first level-up, you're pretty much unstoppable. The only way to recover health is to level up, with the exception of an item you get after defeating the "final boss" (making it useless). If you're going to make a joke game with useless battles, at least make them quick, or add something even the tiniest bit funny to them.
 
  Map Design
    I feel that saying there was any thought put into these maps would be an insult to the word "thought."  
  Balance
    If you hold spacebar from the start of the game until the end, you're not going to run out of HP.  
Music
    This computer can't hear OHR music.  
Enjoyment
    I enjoyed tearing into this game, but got no enjoyment out of playing it. My advice is that if someone gets the urge to be stupid entirely for the sake of being stupid, go into the streets and smash random things with a hammer. This, the arrest, and the trial will at least be amusing to outsiders.  
Final Blows
    From the fact that an asterisk was attached to the title to keep the game at the top of the gamelist, to the complete failure at producing comedy, this is without a doubt the worst game on Castle Paradox, and that's saying a lot.
This is not humor.

This is not humor.
Final Scores
Graphics: 1/10.0
lol it is green
Storyline: 1/10.0
lol i said fuck
Gameplay: 1/10.0
lol spacebar
Music: 1/10.0
N/A
Enjoyment: 1/10.0
lol i kill braincells
Overall Grade: F-
Final Thoughts
    Wasp22, you are not funny.  


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