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ARFENHOUSE!!!1 FOR!!!!11 DISC 1! vs. Shadowiii
ARFENHOUSE!!!1 FOR!!!!11 DISC 1! Heh, I got a chuckle out of this. Too bad it was the last chuckle for a LOONG time.
Seppel
Download: 2.16 MB
V.S.
Shadowiii
Play Time: 4-5 hours and -- minutes
Review # 34 for Shadowiii Heh, I got a chuckle out of this. Too bad it was the last chuckle for a LOONG time.
Them's Fightin' Words
    Arfenhouse has launched Misteroo into OHR legend. A game series where the first two games flat out sucked, but by some stroke of genius or luck, Arfenhouse 3 managed to be quite hilarious and a rousing success. Indeed, Arfenhouse set a new standard for OHR humor (as well as devising a new forum language that seems to plauge even the "veteran" members of the OHR world. OMFG DEY ESUX)

So, as you might guess, after creating something so successful Misteroo would give in to capitolism and make a sequel. But it seems he lost interest (he made a movie series instead), and so passed the game on to Seppel, who decided to make the sequal. A disclamer in game "signed" by Misteroo stated that he wouldn't kill Seppel if the game wasn't all that good. Well, it is a good thing Seppel got that signed, because he'd probably be six feet under by now if Misteroo hadn't made that promise.

Basically, Seppel does what I would do if I made an Arfenhouse game: take what has been given and make a "fan" game, so to speak. Sadly, Seppel fails to capture the "SPERRET" or whatnot of the original Arfenhouse. Rather, he takes a bunch of even more mangled Arfen-speak, throws in a lot of furry jokes, puts in Billy's Dad (*GROAN*), and adds a bunch of randomness, more randomness, and then some more randomness that seems to have a point but doesn't. It reminded me a lot of the Arfenhouse movie, actually, but sadly, most movies don't make good games, and this is very evident here.
Graphics
    Graphics are...Arfenhouse. But, sadly, they don't fit with the style presented in the other few games. Sure, the NPCs are ugly, but in the previous games only a select few NPCs even LOOKED human (Joe, the space guys, and...uh...that's it. The people who ended up there by accident). In this one, there are "normal" looking people EVERYWHERE. It really broke the idea that Arfenhouse is a newbie game that characters from other RPG worlds only stumble upon by accident (like Joseph).

A good thing (well, sort of) was that Seppel used all the same graphics. In fact, on closer examination, I actually think it is the original Arfenhouse 3 file. That is, some of the items were the same and in the exact same spots as in Arfenhouse 3. Anyway, that was definatly good, though in all honesty I'd rather see a graphical update for Joe. I mean, honestly, Joe could look pretty dang sweet when you fight him (OMFG SPOILrRZZZ!!1!), but...he looks very crappy. It is obvious that Seppel either has no skill as a graphical artist, or felt that no one would "notice" because it was arfenhouse.

And that's where it gets nasty. Tilemaps are "improved", but they still look bad. This leads to AWFUL results. In Arfenhouse 1-3, the tilemaps were so darn bad that it made sense: it was an awful style. In this game, on the other hand, they try to look good AND bad (there is some shading, shadows, etc), and it just turns out to be a total mess.

Battles are, again, exactly the same graphics as Arfenhouse 3 in terms of most of the heros, and there are a few others imported that actually look pretty good. This was really the only thing that stayed consistant with the original Arfenhouse style, which was nice. Too bad the music made me want to kill myself, but that's another story...
 
Storyline
    I like JSH's idea so much, I think I'll steal it. Whoo ha. Storyline is split between actual story and dialogue.

Story

Uh...all I can say is, it's story SEEMS more solidified then in Arfenhouse 3, but the dialogue is presented so poorly no one has any idea what is going on, ever. The gag of Housemaster "LOZZING HIZ PANZ!!/?!?1/1!?" was funny for a while, but it just disappeared about ten minutes in. It seems he realized he was wearing them the entire time, and didn't bother to tell anyone. Eh.

Another major downer in the story is it seems...too solidified, yet too random. This is difficult to explain. For those who have watched the Arfenhouse movie (www.disasterlabs.com , people) will know that it is almost completely random. Just one thing to the next. Arfenhouse 3 is this way as well, but (like the arfenhouse movie), stuff seems to have a point, even if it IS random. Sure, Evil Kitty dying then coming back was a bit off the wall, but it MADE SENSE. Sure fighting OLD MAHN and SNAKEZ MAN and NOZE MAN were a bit random also, but you learned it was a parody on the LEET $ (Pokemon reference? Or the fiends from FF4? Eh), so that also made sense. In Arfenhouse 4, however, you'll fight people just because it is "funny." You'll fight a furry slut because, it is "funny". You'll fight a megaman boss right after because...it's "funny". Then you'll fight billy's dad because (yes indeed), it is "funny." NOTE: EVEN THOUGH RANDOMNESS IS VERY FUNNY, TOO MUCH POINTLESS RANDOMNESS IS NOT. YOU CANT JUST BE STUPID AND EXPECT IT TO BE FUNNY.

It is obvious to me that this wasn't made by Misteroo (the first time I played it I thought it was, until I played about two minutes and saw how different it was in style). It seems Seppel played the original three games, watched the movie, and tried to slam it all together into this mess. It fails on all points. It has a story, but arfenhouse SHOULDN'T have a solidified parody story, so that was bad news. It also is COMPLETELY AND POINTLESSLY RANDOM, which Arfenhouse wasn't. Bad.

Finaly thought on this, it was also WAY TOO LONG. Arfenhouse is a SHORT, QUICK BURST OF FUNNYNESS. Too much of it (ie 4-6 hours worth) is TOO MUCH. It gets dull VERY fast, and because events seem to come in clumps (that is, lots of little ones right next to each other, then a LONG gap, then lots of clumps again), there is little to nothing keeping me interested. How dull.

I will admit, howver, there were a few scenes that were pretty funny. Joe's first flashback (the blatant Escaflowne rip-off) was hilarious. The pants joke was funny at first, but becuase it was abandoned so fast I lost interest. There were a few other laugh out loud points, but not enough to make my experience worthwhile.

Dialogue

Ugh. UGH. Seppel needs to brush up on his Arfen-speek, because this wasn't funny, it was just incoherent. If you thought Arfenhouse 3 was difficult to understand, wait till you play this. Sometimes there are letters in words that MAKE NO SENSE. Example: PIAAZNETZ vs. PANNTZ. Which look like "Pants"? The first would be baltantly Arfenhouse 4 speach, while the second is regular Arfen-speek. While the second one still is difficult to deceifer, AT LEAST YOU CAN. The first would could be plants or pianos or ANYTHING. This dialogue litters the ENTIRE GAME. It is AWFUL. It is like someone took a first level course in Arfen-speek (heaven forbid anyone ever even CONSIDER making such a course), flunked, then made this game. Seppel has a grasp on it, just not enough to speak it. Thus, dialogue suffers.

 
Gameplay
    Ugh. UGH. I'll admit, Arfenhouse 3 had CRAP for gameplay, and this one follows in that tradition by providing us with an equally boring, difficult, and pointless gameplay. Maps are either insanely simple and linear (straight up, etc.), or long, poorly designed, and tedious (that forest map where you got Wuzzyoyo). Battles were equally boring, and you didn't get nearly enough money to use that "Esper" system (though I'll admit the esper system was a decent addition).

Oh yes, and the fact that save points were mini Arfenhouses was an "AFUL" idea to say the least. Holy cow it was bad. Mini Arfenhouses? Give me a break.

Also, this file is passworded. But, lo and behold, Seppel kept the Arfenhouse tradition by naming the songs funny names. TOO BAD NO ONE CAN SEE THEM BECAUSE YOU PASSWORDED THE FILE. GOOD GOING. Not only that, it meant I had to use that un-passwording program to get in and cheat. Poo.
 
  Battle
    Your abilities tend to suck, and leveling up doesn't give enough stat improvements, to say the least. You also don't get nearly enough money by fighting battles, and in some areas the random encounter rate is so high I want to shoot something.

Skills were decnet, but pointless. I actually cheated for money so I could beat that boss Uncommon couldn't pass, so I did actually finish this game. However, the spells were not worth the time, and most of them just flat out sucked anyway, especially abilities learned by leveling up. Geez, this needs work.
 
  Map Design
    As stated above, there were two types. The amazingly simple, pointless, and easy; or the tedious, pointless, long and difficult maps. Note both of these had "pointless" in them. Dull would fit both of them well also.  
  Balance
    First, pacing is too slow. The story is presented in clumps, rather then a continuing stream of insanity (like the previous three games). Second, battles are poorly balanced. Sure, I had to think (which was good, this was the first Arfenhouse to actually do that), but the bosses were so...BAD. I mean, some were REALLY EASY, and others were REALLY HARD. Usually one right after the other (sometimes in reverse order!). Ugh.  
Music
    Oh, my poor poor ears. One of the joys of Arfenhouse was how well the music was placed. Since many of the jokes wer somewhat subtle (or hidden by arfenspeak), it usually was the music that tipped you off (like when Aeris' theme started kicking in after Billy killed Evil Kitty, or the crystal music when you ORGANIZED UR POTTY). Because Arfenhouse parodied so much, the music was a wide variety, rather then sticking to just one game.

Arfenhouse 4 is not this way. The majority of the songs are from FF6 (which is what AH4 is parodying), while others are completely random (that AWFUL victory music from Chrono Cross. I mean, I totally love that song when it was in its own game, but in this one...UGH). The music HURT MY EARS. Lots of it didn't even make any sense! Some bizzare, turbo boosted Crystal Theme played in Arfenhouse, rather then the usual song that plays. It was about as confusing as the dialogue, story, and gameplay. Which is pretty confusing, in case you were wondering (you moron).
 
Enjoyment
    Hmm...well, it had its high points and its low points. Some of the jokes were a laugh riot, but sadly these were few and far between. I spent most of the time either wincing because the dialogue and story development was so bad, or wishing I was playing someone else, or both. I can't really say I enjoyed this game very much. Compared to Arfenhouse 3, this game looks about as funny as Xenogears. It just doesn't make the Arfenhouse cut. Which is too bad, because it showed a lot of potential. I'll bet if this were released BEFORE Arfenhouse 3, people would have enjoyed it more. But because it so blatantly rips off many Arfenhouse jokes, as well as execute the Arfenhouse "style" poorly...it isn't fun to play.

Oh yeah, and when I learned the truth about Joe's origin, I almost quit there. That was a HORRIBLE plot twist. It spoiled all the fun of thinking up how the heck Joe ended up in this world of insanty. Shame on you.
 
Final Blows
    Seppel, nice try. Really, your attempt to create a sequel to that amazingly popular series is commendable. However, you just aren't cut out to make these. It's got all the pieces of the puzzle to make it Arfenhouse, they just dont' fit together, or the picture itself is just ugly. Or something.

Overall, don't bother with this. If you played Arfenhouse 3 and are dying for more, just watch the movies over and over until your brain melts and flows out your ears. This game, while a decnet "fan game," isn't Arfenhouse by any stretch of the imagination.
Uh...w00t?

Uh...w00t?
Final Scores
Graphics: 2/10.0
They are ugly, but not Arfenhosue ugly. They are ACTUALLY UGLY. REALLY UGLY. ARGH MY EYES THEY BURN.
Storyline: 2/10.0
OMFG HOUZEMAZTER HQZ LOZT HIAZ PANITZ OH WAIT NAVER MIND DAT PLOTZ TWIZT WASTZ FUNIEs ENOUgHZ SO WE KILED TI LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOPLOl11!L1!Ol1olk!@?12
Gameplay: 3.5/10.0
Wee, it sucks. Maps are the worst, battles are decent, the esper system is nice but poorly executed.
Music: 1/10.0
ACH MEIN EARS!
Enjoyment: 4/10.0
It had some really funny parts, but not enought to save it. While the funny parts WERE funny enough for me to remember and still chuckle about them now, they weren't worth sifting through this mess of a game to find.
Overall Grade: F+
Final Thoughts
    OMFG DIZ GAME IZ GHAY LIKZ JOEZ!11!!! ANE WE HAETZ JOE!11!!! LOLOLOLOLlOLOLLOOLloOLLO!1!!O!L!!1!!!1  


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