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 1) 7 hits
-3 NO EAT by Ronin Catholic
 2) 3 hits
+3 City of Dreams (full version) by Friend
+0 rwer by RedMaverickZero
 3) 2 hits
+2 Trailblazers by Retrogamer
+1 Walthros: Return of the Crystals by The Wobbler
Mormon Mission vs. RedMaverickZero
Mormon Mission I'd look like that too if I got hit with a match thrown from someones ass! Haha.
Gizmog1
Download: 95 KB
V.S.
RedMaverickZero
Play Time: hours and 15+ minutes
Review # 13 for RedMaverickZero I'd look like that too if I got hit with a match thrown from someones ass! Haha.
Them's Fightin' Words
    Okay, everyone knows what a mormon is right? If not, too bad. There are some games that are nice and calm paced. Kinda reminds you of a Disney movie. Then there are others that are graphic and disgusting involving homosexual activity to the highest. This is definitely not the first type. Of all things, this game is the most offensive game I have played. It doesn't offend me, but I can see how it can offend others.
Graphics
    Beautiful. Simply beautiful. I really haven't seen graphics this fantastic in a while. The cutscenes were beautifully animated and drawn out too. Like when El Salvador throws his shit matches at the nazis and Fidel Castro, they are actually moving. You see them. Everything was drawn out in a black outline which I personally have a hard time getting to look right but not only did the trio of authors do that but they did amazing shading and NPC structure. These graphics are the types of things that inspire you to try harder to make your own look better. As I said, these graphics are simply amazing. The only downside, which I do not hold against because it doesn't affect the gameplay is the title screen. It looked like it was made in maybe 2 minutes. But everything else was awesome.
 
Storyline
    There's this latino dancer. El Salvador. He's a latino dancing freedom fighter. Crazy? Haha, not nearly as crazy as the stuff he stuck up his ass. He has what seems like an infinite supply of shit matches lodged up there. But that's beside the point. This latino dude, goes all the way to Brazil to save this creepy looking dude who has an obsession with retarded orphans. This creepy guy just happens to be in a Moogle Suit. Anyways, Salvador was sent to Brazil to get him and Moogle1 out of there. Avoiding crazy nazis and potentially ruining Christmas for everyone. Along the way they meet up with the killer Fidel Castro. Who has an obsession with penis as much as the majority of characters in this game. The storyline was very well put together and aside from the homosexual jokes being used repitively, it was fairly good.
 
Gameplay
    When you think of the OHR engine spell it out just once. O.H.R.R.P.G.C.E. Official Hamster Republic RPG Construction engine. Thus, OHR for short. Anyways, the key word in there was RPG. Yet as the years and months I have been in the OHR community have gone by, I notice that people have gone astray from the RPG games the OHR was built originally for. They have tapped into the engines full potential to make as some would say, minigames. Mormon Mission does this to the highest extent. The plotscripting knowledge put into this game are very very nice. Sadly, the game was a short 15-20 minutes long... But the minigames which were a key part to this game were astounding. I mean, it doesn't sound that great once you've played PS2 or XBOX games but seeing this stuff in the OHR and knowing that people are programming every little piece of it... That just looks great.
 
  Battle
    This is one that gets a different type of score. As there were no err.. RPG style battles there were battles. The awesomely plotscripted fight between El Salvador and Fidel Castro. Where you have to act quickly to unlock another ending. Pressing "D" lets you dodge the cock rockets. Pressing "W" throws matches coated in shit from Salvadors ass. For whatever reason why they are up his ass I have no idea...
 
  Map Design
    Beautiful. There was everything anyone could ask for. Although some of the trees looked a little sketchy at times because the makers had to get them to fit it was very nice. And every single area was so very well put together. The Nazi game in particular. Where El Salvador had to pretend to be the nazi commander dude and direct the nazi around, those areas were very well drawn out. The Fidel Castro vs. El Salvador fight area looked good. Even though it was one long straight away, that's all it needed really. Overall, this game had awesome design put into it.
 
  Balance
    The game was fairly balanced. But didn't need much for balance. Due to the fact that it had no real need for balance. As the entire game was a variety of minigames.
 
Music
    This area was probally the worst part of the game and could've been a lot better. Some areas had absolutely no music whatsoever. They could've been a lot better too if the music supported em the way the music did in other areas. Like the Nazi minigame where you navigate the crazy but nicely drawn NPC wanders around to catch Salvador and Moogle1. That was one area in particular I quickly recognized that could've been much better with music. But that was really the only part that needed work with music.
 
Enjoyment
    I haven't had a laugh like this in quite some time. Although, I kinda feel like Setu when he reviewed Mr.Triangle's Shitty Adventure 1. The elements were a lot of the same. But in the same ways a lot different. Mostly on the way that it shared the assault on homosexuals to the extreme. I had a ton of fun making that game, and I can see how this trio had fun too making this repulsive game.
 
Final Blows
    As El Salvador said at the end of the game, when you launch your parachute, he'll be back. As in Salvador. I personally think that's a great idea. Considering this game was so fun in the first place. My only thing I would need work on is the length of the game. But with such a highly knowledgeable plotscripter, you guys could make some of the best looking minigames around. Make it a full length game, like hours of stuff you know. But this game has some of the best potential. And it's great that it's made at the end of the year, because it shows that the new year will be full of pleasant suprises for the OHR games in the future. Something that everyone will look forward to.
A gay moogle boy... and a freaky gay dude... When will it end???

A gay moogle boy... and a freaky gay dude... When will it end???
Final Scores
Graphics: 10/10.0
Simply the most beautiful graphics I have seen all 2003! It would intrigue me to know just which people did what in this game.
Storyline: 8/10.0
Go to the country of Brazil and save an orphan killing dude in a Moogle costume and then avoid the crazy Fidel Castro, and then fall out of the "Cock Boat" and catch half naked Japaneese chicks. Sounds pretty good if you ask me. (Except the cock boat part).
Gameplay: 9/10.0
Short, but fun. Very fun. The minigames were awesome. If there were more of em this would have gotten full marks. I personally thought it was great stuff.
Music: 7.5/10.0
Could have been better in certain areas... Not really much to say, but all the same, it was nicely picked for the areas that had it.
Enjoyment: 9/10.0
Aside from losing at certain points in the game and having to start over from scratch to try and get the secret endings it was very enjoyable. The Salvador vs. Castro fight will be a fight I will remember for all my OHR career. Great.
Overall Grade: A
Final Thoughts
    Sickening... Repulsive... But all around... hilarious!  


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