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Make people laugh!

 
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Voltire
Yep.




Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Posts: 87
Location: A nice man's big, white van.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 1:46 pm    Post subject: Make people laugh! Reply with quote

Do any thing to make someone else laugh, or at least smile. Be funny or puny, nice or mean! Do something!

1) So, Gold walks into a bar and Silver comes a little while after. Silver sees Gold and says "Au!"

2) So, a nuetron walks into a bar and asks the bartender,"How much?" The bartender replies,"For you? No charge!"
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Ronin Catholic
A Pink Dormouse




Joined: 23 Jul 2007
Posts: 401
Location: My Girlfriend

PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's Mama Luigi to you, Mario!
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J_Taylor
The Self-Proclaimed King of Ketchup




Joined: 02 Dec 2009
Posts: 188
Location: Western NY

PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

@Voltire

I had to re-read both of them. The second one was hilarious.
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Bagne
ALL YOUR NUDIBRANCH ARE BELONG TO GASTROPODA




Joined: 19 Feb 2003
Posts: 518
Location: Halifax

PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awesome joke #1

So, I go to the doctor because I've got a stalk of broccoli stuck in my nose, and a carrot in my eye, and an apple crushed halfway down my ear ...
and I'm like:
"I am in horrible pain. What gives, man?"
And the doctor says:
"You're not eating properly."

Awesome joke #2

In QM class, Macbeth is learning about creation and annihilation operators, and he says:
"Is this a dagger I see before me?"
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Ronin Catholic
A Pink Dormouse




Joined: 23 Jul 2007
Posts: 401
Location: My Girlfriend

PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's a stone, Luigi. You didn't make it.
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Voltire
Yep.




Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Posts: 87
Location: A nice man's big, white van.

PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Verizon wants to discontinue phone book service because Chuck Norris tears up all the phone books for fun.

Chuck Norris spends his spare time solving the Theory of Everything.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies ... As The Force.

Chuck Norris is physically unable to be physically unable.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

Because Norris.
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Voltire
Yep.




Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Posts: 87
Location: A nice man's big, white van.

PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 11:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you want to smile or have others around you smile, do these two things:

1) Say "in the bathtub" after every fortune cookie you read out loud.

2) Replace 1/2 of the nouns you use with the word "wenis". (That IS how you spell it, right? Wheenis? Weeniss?)
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Ronin Catholic
A Pink Dormouse




Joined: 23 Jul 2007
Posts: 401
Location: My Girlfriend

PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2010 8:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck Norris can double-post and not look like a retard.

Chuck Norris promoted Mike Huckabee.
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Voltire
Yep.




Joined: 16 Oct 2010
Posts: 87
Location: A nice man's big, white van.

PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 3:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
REG: What?!
LORETTA: It's my right as a man.
JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
LORETTA: I want to have babies.
REG: You want to have babies?!
LORETTA: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
REG: But... you can't have babies.
LORETTA: Don't you oppress me.
REG: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!”
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Ronin Catholic
A Pink Dormouse




Joined: 23 Jul 2007
Posts: 401
Location: My Girlfriend

PostPosted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 5:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everybody Polkamon!
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