Castle Paradox

[Valiant Warrior]

I'm working on OHR Gear at the moment, but I do have a large series of games stringed out- an epic basicly. Each game was going to be unique, but the story and charecters(Did I spell that right? My spelling is messed up due to a hybrid of British and American Language Arts classes) would be what tied them together.

I am not going to drop OHR Gear 'til it is done, but I did want to see what this sounded like to you.

The major point of the epic is basicly a story, not a deep , message filled, hidden meaning story with a morale (well not excatly) but a story.

The epic is called "Retro Glory", and it combines classic RPG cliche (ones especially common in Retro games) into a unique story line.

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The first game synopsis: Retro Glory

Kyle (who you play as) is an outgoing, and ambitious kid who's best firend is a girl called Terro. One day a stranger shows up, clad in armor, and begins yanking in the center of town square about how he's heading out to slay some dragon, and that nobody should fret for the dangerous beast shall soon be vanquished, and nonsense such like that, all in an extremely egocentric fashion. That is Lince. Nobody much buys histale, or even seems moved much by this show, but he did manage to raise a crowd and create gossip for this little town- even though nobody had ever heard of a Dragon in the wods nearby, and also despite the fact that he seems very short.

Anyways, that night Kyle gets suckered into a dare (as is usual due to his innate passion to be well-liked by all), but this time it is somewhat unique. He's been dared into climbing ontop of the inn and peeking in on the stranger's room, on the promise that the kid's will come to his birthday party tomorrow. When he peeks in, he sees Lince talking to some strange begger that showed up at about the same time Lince did. Kyle only makes out parts of sentences like "Dragon... you back to where you belong... the king" and such stuff. inevitably, he gots spotted and caught by the strangers. The robed one leaves that night, while the town is silent, and in the morning Lince stashes Kyle into a backpack and walks out with a parade at his heels, everyone wishing him luck in defeating teh dragon, restoring peace to their town, and hoping he gets taller.

In the woods, a shaking begins and a huge dragon leaps over them, and knocks out Kyle. When he recovers conciousness, he overhears Lince again, talking to the robed dude. "How could he beat us here? We must've been followed." then Lince sees the Kid and tells him they're taking hime back to his town. When they show back up to Kyle's town, the whole place was torched by the dragon. Lince spills the beans to Kyle, finally.

The robed one is the King- or was the King until his lead general of the army overthrew him and attempted to murder hime. Everyone in the kingdom believes him to be dead, except for the outter rural towns and villages (like Kyle's). Lince is his bodyguard, and is very loyal. The only way they can restore the King to beat the General in the search for the Dragons. If the General gets his hands on them, ultimate power will be gained- and he's already got one of them.

[ben stein]wow... intense...[/ben stein]

That's the opening to the game, now to shorten the rest and prevent too many spoilers from popping up.

It turns out (eventually) that only one person, selected by the magical balance of the world, can awaken the dragon- and it can't be of royal blood (due to a long a complex legend that is too complicated for anyone to explain, or even attempt to mention, so has thus passed out of their immediate era's memory) Immediately, eyes are turned to Kyle. Now it becomes a chase, he's gotta avoid the General from finding him and he starts getting too much pressure from the others.

Closer to the end, he joins up with a rebellion. Here a overly energetic lady (without a name right now) decides to "adopt" him. He(Kyle) leaves the rebellion fairly quick though, and sets out alone in search for his father (end of game)

I forgot to explain about his father. His dad is an adventurer and disappeared a few years ago. While Kyle is with the rebellion, he over hears Lince talking to a scout. The scout thinks he found Kyle's dad, inside the General's jail. Licne doesn't want Kyle to know because he's afraid that Kyle will try to get him, and will get caught. Too risky for the fate of the land, in other words.

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Thats just the basics for the first game. Yes, it is ambitious. There are more twists that I left out to avoid spoilers, and for those of you who had enough patience to read through it, congrats, I give you a banana, for those who didn't, then go and read it.

Ok, I'm also sure somebody is bound to ask "where's the cliche", I'll list 'em out:

-kid hero
-missing dad
-only one can save the world
-dragons (duh)
-Royalty in refugee (very common in RPGs)
-destroyed city
-more but they would be spoilers

What d'ya think? Anyone care in helping/contributing?
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*VW has left the building*

[LeRoy_Leo]

That's a deep thought...


Well. What can I say. Go for it.
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Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

[Valiant Warrior]

The title of this thread was due to a lack of creativity. I couldn't think of what else to say- it isn't a declared project nor a request for help... just a thought.

Maybe I should get a soundfile of that Saturday Night Live guy saying "Now it's time for another Deep thoughts"

Anyways, critique, suggestions, sounds good, sounds bad, is crap, what?

oh and about that banana...
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[Eggie]

Don't be afraid to use common cliches. Some of the most unoriginal cliches can be presented in the most original ways. Try to think of something new. Then answer all the questions that might be asked about it. Such as, "Only one that can save the world."
Answer questions like why, where, how?

Perhaps the kid was mistaken for a powerful warrior that was abducted by an evil minion of uhh... Lycaniss. I could go into more detail, but on with the importance.

Anyway, the kid has some new superpoer that can't be extracted, and his power is the only way to defeat Lycaniss, because Lycaniss is made from Chemicals, and only the kid's powers can eradicate the material of Lycaniss.

Also include stuff, like why Lycaniss is hurting people. Saying that he is just evil is stupid. Perhaps he is against the worl from past trials, where he felt embarrased, humilated, angry. Perhaps he was shun by humans, and attacked by them since he was a freak at nature. Now he wants them to feel pain.

Keep on expanding and answering questions about the supernatural physics of the character's world. Such as the existance of magic.

Also, sometimes it's better to leave vital information to be revealed to the end. Say if the character in the story constantly talks about uhhh... a guy named Lance, and saying how proud he would be, or how happy the character is with him. Perhaps he could be dead, and finally tells someone about it near the end of the game.

[Ishrie]

thanks for the bannana!!!!
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http://www.oddwebsite.com/ddw.php?tjord=11

[Uncommon]

Don't spam. It's a quick way to get us all to dislike you.

[Valiant Warrior]

I haven't been on the forums in awhile, nor had time to work on OHR due to stupid rotten luck of the past month.

Anyways, Eggie:
Yes, there are many plot twist, and I'm not afraid of cliches since the story has completely embraced them. Also I've got most of the game planned out, and several of the major points of the story happen at the end, but slowly throughout the game more and more info is leaked out. Here's some more of the story since it seems some people are actually interested enough to read it and to want a banana.

--- More of Retro Glory One (don't read if you don't want to have some spoilers for whenever this game comes out)

The kid doesn't have any mystic powers at all, everyone assumed it because he was near the location of each dragon that escaped. But they weren't completely wrong.

The kid's father is a great traveller and explorer. He's seen the whole world pretty much, adn during one of his treks a strange illusion appeared warning him of future chaos, of dragons, and that only one can stop it. The father knew when to find the one and where, but not who it was. He then set out, after returning home for a fare well (yes, he came back for a couple days, then left again- almost a pit stop). Anyways, he spent all his life from then on out trying to find the 'one' (Matrix reference unintended) but eventually gets caught by the baddies. He was stuck in a jail, and at the end of the first game the kid, Kyle, heads out to free him (cuz he over hears the rebel scout taling about it, and how it'd be too dangerous for Kyle to go near it).

Also more about the baddies.
The kingdom had one major King, he seemed fair and benevolent, but over all not all that active. Peace is a great concept, but the human mind requires more excitement. The Big Badguy (I don't have a name for him, so he'll be known as Bob from here on) is a military general. He views a neighboring kingdom as a threat, and is jealous of their resources (also he was kicked out of there, but nobody at this kingdom knows about that reason for vengeance). So Bob slowly spread word around to the nobles, who leak info down to commoners, who start getting really excited since they expect a bloody assassination, which would promise to be a good show and give reason to increase popcorn production. Lince, the King's loyal Knight, over hears the commoners talking about "The Big Gig" since they're stupid and don't know what a secret was if it bit their heads off. Lince and the King escape.

They happen upon that same 'illusion' that Kyle's dad met, but aren't told about the chosen dude. Instead they're told that a war is about to begin. lead by Bob against the neighboring kingdom he got kicked out of. The Dragons will be awakened and they're the weapon he will choose. Being royal, the King knew about the Dragons, but being a pacifist he never used them. The King decides the best way to stop Bob would be to intercept his men while they attempt to awaken the dragons. If they can do this, they could use intimidation to causeBob to forfeit the throne back to him. The peasants coud be entertained by a couple of fire balls spat out of the dragons, but no actual harm would be dealt. This is why how they arrive at Kyle's town, which is the village outside the first Dragon's den.

I'll type more later.
http://www.chm.bris.ac.uk/motm/ethylacetate/banana.gifHere is your banana.[/url]
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[LeRoy_Leo]

This story would maybe get more responses if it were on the story thread... But as far as the story goes, I still should see a little development, but it's a start.
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Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "

[Eggie]

The story's good, the story's good. It has it's own unique style that leads it to a quest sort of thing. It seems that there is only one hero, and if you actually try to put in more heroes, then try to make them reflect the story throughout the game.

[Valiant Warrior]

ok, if this belongs elsewhere, then whoever it is that is in charge of stuff like this can swap it over to wherever it belongs- especially if it'll get more replies (strange that with nearly 200 views there have been a relatively low amount of replies.)

Anyways, if you wanna know more about a character or sumthin then you just ass-k me 'n I'll give a more in depth explanation or something.
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