Castle Paradox

[Pepsi Ranger]

Hey Guys,

I recently read the new update of OHR Weekly, and from what I gathered it seems that some of you if not many think that I left the community. Well, I hope this message reveals to some degree that I haven't. Sorry if there have been any misunderstandings. But, I know what triggered the assumption, and the trigger definitely had its aftereffects. But I'll clarify some things in the space below:

The Epic Marathon disaster did not cause any self-evictions from the community. Some of you got the impression that I walked away because of its failure. To some degree that's accurate, to another degree it's not. Obviously, I'm here explaining some things, so the accuracy is aimed at something, but not at my abandonment of the community.

The last week of the Epic Marathon coincided with a major transition in my personal life, which conversely meant that things were going to change in regards to what I can give to this community anyway. So to some degree I needed a way to slow my involvement with the community. The disappointment of the Epic Marathon's outcome helped vehicle that decision. It's a decision that I've been contemplating for awhile, but just wasn't sure when I wanted to enact it. The change in my life and the outcome of this contest convinced me to make the decision a reality.

So far this may seem a bit vague, so I'll elaborate a little deeper here. The OHR has not been a priority in my life for awhile now. When I do decide to do anything OHR related, it doesn't last long since other things battle for the top spot on my list of priorities. So when I do try to find time for the OHR, I either spend it working on games or making something that I hope will better the community. All my reviews, articles, Behind the Epic features, and marathon contests have been my attempts at bettering the community. The Adventures of Powerstick Man is the only real game I've released since joining, and that was nearly four years ago. Frankly, I don't think the community has improved much over the years since I've started adding additional contributions, so in a way I feel like I've wasted my time with the secondary involvement. Therefore, when I said I was done, I pretty much gave up on trying to do my part in making the OHR community a better place. With reviews that were valued more as entertainment than means for improvement, and articles that were regarded valuable for the first day and forgotten the next, and contests that many people loved conceptually but had no drive to actually support--I just felt like enough was enough. I've grown weary of trying to help this community because it seems like no one is listening. So that's essentially why I've given up.

These events do not mean that I've abandoned the community completely or that I've discontinued my games. What it means is that I'm through with contests, through with reviews, and through with anything that takes up extra time that I'd rather use for something else. I apologize to those who have been waiting on new reviews from me, but unless I feel particular moved to write one, it's not going to happen. As far as the other innovations go--I think I've made my point.

I also wanted to take this moment to release some tension or guilt that some of you may be feeling. Disappointments happen, but they're made to be dealt with. For those of you who said you would support the Second Annual Epic Marathon and then backed out--don't beat yourselves up over it. Yes I was greatly disappointed that I spent many months preparing for it and had absolutely no one come through in making something from it. But there is a neat trick called recycling, which I do with my characters all the time. So don't worry about it. Where the material failed in this format, I can easily use it in another some day. I don't have much faith in this community anymore because of this event (and others like it), but I can still get back my lost time by utilizing the details in another form. That probably doesn't make many of you feel any better, but I'm sure you'll bounce back. You always do.

For those who are wondering about my games, I do still work on them from time to time. As I said earlier, the OHR has not been a priority, and therefore the time I spend on games nowadays is nothing close to the time I spent during that first year when I made Powerstick Man. But every little bit is progress and I will release my games when they get to a point where I'm happy with them. It could still be a long way off, but you never know. Sometimes I get creative spurts that I have to use in developing my games, and the longer it lasts the more I get done, so one spurt may last long enough to push development over the edge into completion, or it may only be long enough to draw one walkabout frame. I can't predict it. As of right now the time I'm spending on games is next to nothing.

I will say that even if I do get the creative spurt, right now there isn't much time for me to do anything about it. I'm trying my best to get my second volume of writings edited and ready for print by the end of the year, so most of my creative attention is going to that. It took me quite a few months to get my first volume edited and printed, so I know that I'm in for a push with this one. But it's gotta be done as soon as I can, and the OHR could potentially stall that, so there won't be much work given to my games between now and then. There is a chance though that I'll be able to put in some decent time after the second book is ready, so perhaps there's something to look forward to there. But that's the gist of that. It's one of those wait and see things.

About the Epic Marathon contests: I will no longer hold one, but that doesn't mean that it has to be dead forever. I offered the contest to Aethereal, but his feelings about it are the same as mine, so if anyone else out there believes in the contest and thinks it can still work somehow, let me know and I'll pass ownership along (if ownership can even be claimed on these things). I'll give it to the person that I feel is the most responsible. If any of you decide to take a chance on it, I'll PM you with the themes I had in mind for the third and fourth annual contests. Of course it'll be up to you to choose whether or not to use them, but the ideas will be available if you need them.

So I think that about covers everything. I'm still here for the most part, though my involvement will be strictly making games and posting the occasional post. Both will be on a sporadic basis (much as it's been for the last three years), but will still be enough to signify my presence here to some degree.

However, just know that if I do choose to leave sometime, there won't be any announcements or lamentations or anything like that. I'll just stop showing up. Simple as that.

Again, I apologize for the confusion. I was disappointed, but not driven away. I'll leave it to my personal life to do that.

Thanks for your time.
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Progress Report:

The Adventures of Powerstick Man: Extended Edition

Currently Updating: General sweep of the game world and dialogue boxes. Adding extended maps.

Tightfloss Maiden

Currently Updating: Chapter 2

[rpgspotkale]

Thats much too much writting...


But okay I acknowledge that you never left
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[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v475/daviward/sovereignlegionbanner1-2fire.bmp[/IMG]

[Moogle1]

Dear Mr. Ranger,

HOORAY!
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Slime Salad :: Independent Game Design

[LeRoy_Leo]

Wanted to let you know that I tried really hard, and failed once again. The Epic WAS a good experience for me. There was no looser. Everyone who participated did get the experience. Thank you for not leaving.

PS: We care. If not, then the article wouldn't have been written.
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Planning Project Blood Summons, an MMORPG which will incinerate all of the others with it's sheer brilliance...

---msw188 ---
"Seriously James, you keep rolling out the awesome like gingerbread men on a horror-movie assembly line. "